How to choose a therapist
Many people ask me for advice when they are looking for a therapist, whether they are doing this for the first time, or because they are seeking specific support during a time of difficulty, or facing a new challenge.
Finding a professional in any service can be a difficult decision-making process, but choosing a therapist can feel particularly daunting because this is someone that you will be opening up to in a very personal way. It often requires real courage, especially if you are reaching out at a time when you are feeling low or anxious.
I always encourage people to do their best to feel empowered in making this important decision for themselves, because although you are seeking help from another, you are essentially employing someone to provide you with a service and it is you who is in charge of this process.
So, where to start? I hope the following guide might be helpful.
1. Take a bit of time to write down some points for yourself to start giving you some focus. Ask yourself some general questions like ‘what do I want out of therapy at this time?’ or ’what am I struggling with right now?’
2. Then think about the practical considerations you need to weigh up such as when you will be free to attend sessions, whether you want to meet in person or online, what your budget is financially, whether you have a set time limit or want a more open-ended format, and any needs that may be specific to you, for example do you have accessibility requirements?
3. Write down anything that is important to you around the kind of therapist you are looking for – are things like age, gender or ethnicity significant for you? Do you require a therapist who can speak a language other than English?
4. What about the kind of therapy you are looking for? Is there a particular modality you are familiar with or wish to try? Is it important to you to access a specific approach, or do you want to ask potential therapists about the way they work? Remember: being specific about an approach can have pros and cons. On the one hand it can be a helpful way to narrow your search and give you a focus. However it is worth bearing in mind that research shows us that regardless of the modality of therapy, it is the therapeutic relationship that is most significant to positive client outcomes. So it is not always necessarily the ‘how’ that will determine whether therapy is helpful.
5. Once you have your list of requirements, start doing your research. You may want to ask people you know for a personal recommendation, or use a website with a search facility such as Counselling Directory or BACP, or just start off with a Google search and see where it takes you.
6. Make sure that the therapist you choose is a member of a professional body such as BACP, UKCP, BABCP or another. This will mean that they are fully qualified, their work is monitored professionally and they follow a strict Code of Ethics. Professional bodies all have official complaints procedures, so you know you are working with someone who is fully accountable. Remember: some therapists have accreditation which is indicates they have been through a rigorous process of assessment to ensure their work is of a high standard, however there are many experienced counsellors and therapists who have worked for years without having gone through the accreditation process. A therapist’s life experience and commitment to their own therapeutic journey can be just as important as their level of qualifications and academic achievements.
7. Take your time in browsing what is on offer and write down anything you hadn’t previously thought of that you might want to add to your list – is there something important you need to consider?
8. Make a short-list of at least 5 therapists you like the look of. Send them all the same brief overview of what you are looking for, including your requirements in terms of session time, location, concessionary rates etc. Remember: not all the therapists you choose may have availability at a time that is right for you, so it’s better to keep your search broader at this point.
9. When you hear back from the therapists ask them whether they offer a free or reduced rate introductory call or first session. This will give you the opportunity to meet them and to ask them any questions you might have. Don’t be afraid to ask questions like ‘do you think your way of working will be helpful for me?’ or ‘how do you normally work with this kind of issue?’ Remember: you are interviewing them! How do you feel in their presence? What does your instinct tell you? Remember trust is foundational in therapy and how you feel with someone can help guide you.
Don’t forget that when you start working with a therapist you can continue to check in with yourself, and with them about how your therapy is progressing. Most therapists will review with you every few sessions to give you the opportunity to reflect on how your process is going, and how you are feeling within the therapeutic relationship.
Remember, your therapist is there to support you for as long as you need but should always be working to guide you to your own choices and to help empower you to deal with the issues you are facing.